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      Bare Bones

      Killer angel. 

      By sheer fluke it came 

      smashing through piles of oranges

      belly wide open, teasing eyes

      lick of life

      How to interpret these signals 

      a projection or

      electricty ?

      i want you

      i want you to want me 

      long standing love

      overriden by desire 

      let me go

      so i can savour this fall.

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      Mind fear

      Sometimes it is all too much;

      lightening thoughts, igniting reactive responses.

      Fear and paranoia.

      Slowing down the vain monster.

      Take that breath underwater,,,

      release the last curl of wet thought.

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      To heal, means to feel the suffering.

      To heal, means to feel.

      The other way is neurotic;

      in constant dread and fear.

      It chases you, haunts and plagues you.

      Like a virus, dormant at times active when triggered.

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      Cloud

      Quieten your words, please!

      softness only.

      Realisations of the impermanence of it all.

      And there she is again, showing me, floating, moving enveloping the mass of everything.

      Dressed like a hag, with a twinkle of wisdom.

      Perception is a wide open smile.

      life is this mirror....

      turning inwards, towards.

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      I lay bare bones scattered on rainbow coloured mountains.

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      Ugly duckling

      You clipped my wings 

      i tore at my flesh

      You put me down

      i created self loathing

      You criticised me 

      i wanted to kill myself

      You ridiculed me

      i began to lie

      You shamed me

      i died

      My father,

      the root of it all.

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      The fear of opening

      The gift of poison.

      Finally i have the cure.

      Antidote to reason

      all things endure.

      shedding is paramount

      shaking to my core.

      Wide open water

      together we are more.

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      Tell me again,

      'that you wanted me to feel safe...."

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      Beating butterfly heart;

      bird song, carry me away

      into the night, across the day,

      Stars come, light up my way

      for this whole everything.

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      And then i dared to fall,

      speaking the unspeakable,

      I named my truth, coined my tongue

      into tangible matter, and then

      they fell out, spilling everywhere.

      Ha, the mess!

      the shame!

      what a thing to behold, together,

      seated on the lawns of heaven.

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      Petal by petal she unfolded. The bud set free held with the tenderest of hands.

      Here she rested.

      But this is just words, jumbled semantics, what is really true is that each mind revolves differently in the way it rotates around love.

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      Requests can always be made after truths are spoken .

      crack me open diamond coal.

      Beauteous suffering

      Dualism at the core.

      A felt sense beyond thought waves, interpretation.

      A perceived reality. Scotoma.

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      Something is becoming, gripping at my heart.

      What is left but empty space waiting to be filled.

      Beyond static, everything moving, forever changing.

      The relationship to it is matter of thought.

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      What controls this? My little heart pounds between sheets, nervous system electric.

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      Where is the sanctuary? 

      A shattered, fragmented vessel carrying my essence beyond self.

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      Am i broken?

      If, peace is stillness with a gentle smile

      then i am not, this.

      Rather I am static peace.  Defined slightly differently

      Oh beauteous suffering, in the presence of this now.

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